“My daughter tried to take her own life several times and I am not sure how to approach the situation.” This was what Laura said in one of the virtual exchange programs I was facilitating.
The group consisted of 10 participants from different regions of the world. They connected on Zoom each week to share their perspectives and experiences around a specific topic. The topic that week was about social media and its impacts on our mental health.
The group didn’t know how to respond to what Laura shared and hoped someone could take the mic and break the silence. After a few seconds of silence, I asked Laura, “Would you like to elaborate more if you are comfortable with that?”
Participants may bring up sensitive topics like personal traumas, religion, or politics during virtual exchanges. The key is not to shy away from these discussions but to engage with them fully. As virtual exchange facilitators, we are equipped with various tools and techniques to spot learning opportunities and capitalize on them. One of the tools we use is asking follow-up questions. This not only lets participants elaborate on their feelings and thoughts but also model questions that we encourage participants to ask.
Laura shared that her teenage daughter was dealing with depression and other mental health issues. She had several suicide attempts and had to go through therapy and counseling sessions. Laura expressed that her daughter’s situation was confusing for her especially because she is providing her with everything she needs.
I gave Laura the space to share and neutralize her emotions. This could build a safer space for authentic and fruitful discussions. Other techniques that we can use include having meta discussions, which are discussions about how the discussions are going so far, reflections on assumptions, and emphasis on being open-minded when approaching these types of conversations.
And at the end of each week, we give space to participants to share their concerns, feedback, and any recommendations which would give us insights to plan for the next session.
The group was able to give Laura words of support and encouragement. One of the participants shared his experience with depression and how he started the journey to healing. Many of the stories shared enabled Laura to understand her daughter's struggles more, and at the end of the program she reflected on the program by writing: “I got emotional listening to a young man telling the group about his struggles, which were the exact same struggles my immediate family was experiencing. Through him I began to have a better understanding of the issues my family members are going through. Their experiences were so much alike. I am so grateful I got the opportunity to LISTEN to him. My family member tells me you don't understand. This young man has helped me tremendously!!”
Being a part of these conversations made me realize the importance of the tools we apply to foster engaging, authentic, and constructive discussions. From asking critical thinking questions to conducting meta discussions, we aim as facilitators to create an environment in which participants feel heard and seen even in a virtual setting.
Through this process, we realize that while we are all different, we are also equal—there is no superior or inferior human being. Our differences stem from our unique stories, traditions, cultures, and beliefs. In Virtual Exchange, our goal is to embrace these differences and explore why we think the way we do. For instance, was there an encounter or experience that shaped our political views? Or an event or person that influenced how we perceive mental health issues? Answering these questions fosters a proactive environment where participants learn with and from each other. By the end of the experience, participants come to understand that stories like Laura's are happening all around us. We just need to approach one another with greater empathy and compassion to build resilience in the face of challenges.